Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Dentist, The Fall, The Vein

I took one of those fasting blood tests today for a "Biometric" health screening that was sponsored by Zak's employer (who also carries our health insurance). I hate fasting because I desperately need to eat within 30 minutes of waking up. Worse yet, my appointment wasn't until 10:15.....worser, I had also scheduled a dentist appointment for Maddie and Brooke at 8:30....worsetest, I couldn't even have coffee!


For purposes of remembering my daughters' dental hygiene needs (and also for my mother who really wants to know this stuff because she likes to pretend she's a dentist).....Maddie's about to lose two more teeth (#G and #D). That will bring her total to 9 lost teeth so far. As soon as those teeth fall out, we need to take her to the orthodontist for "an early evaluation." Maddie's molars are half way in, but one is yellowish. The dentist says she needs to fluoride twice daily (instead of her usual bedtime rinse) to harden her enamel, and as soon as they come in she needs sealants. I think he also said something about her missing a permanent tooth (#10 or #11?). She also has "very active saliva glands and high calcium phosphate levels on the lingual surface of the mandibular anterior teeth" which is dental speak for your kid has lots of tarter.



Brooke, who has recently (and unwisely) has been in charge of her own brushing twice per day, has perfect looking baby teeth. She had her first full set of X-Rays today. Per the dentist, Brooke is not the best brusher and needs adult help each time (not just on the every other day brush that I do). Brooke is also about to lose #P in the next few months....likely before her 5th birthday!


So then the dentist says, "tell me about Brooke's recent tooth trauma (to #E and #F) because #E is chipped and the x-ray shows it is dead." Oh...yeah...I forgot about that... "The root of that tooth is dying, and if that happens, the bone will fill in. Once the bone fills in, the permanent tooth will have a hard time breaking in. Also, the x-ray shows her permanent teeth #10 and #7 are sideways."


Awesome, huh? Nothing like a trip to the pediatric dentist to make you feel like a shitty mom! I'm sure everyone except my mother is totally bored now....stay tuned because later I fall down and then get pricked with a needle 3 times which causes a vein to collapse!



So, a few weeks ago, there was a playground incident where Brooke got hit in the mouth with a shovel.


I know...I asked the same question....Why do they have shovels on the playground?


It was one of those plastic kid shovels, and Brooke's friend accidentally hit her with it mid-dig. Brooke bled a bit above that tooth and it was bruised for a few days. Seriously, the girl is constantly getting hit, hurt, bumped, kicked, or just falls down...on her face.






(The prize bag at the dentist had a plastic bling'd out "grill" in it. Are you kidding me?!)


Just when I was all proud of myself for carrying two healthy pregnancies, safe deliveries, nursing each one for a year, keeping them from hurting themselves (for the most part), strapping them in car seats, making sure they are at least sorta educated, liberally applying sunscreen everyday, feeding & watering them.....they continue to need me!

Because teeth?! Now I gotta make sure they keep all their teeth? My limit is 18 years old....after they turn 18, they will be responsible for making sure that they retain all their teeth and I will retire from parenting and lounge on a beach all day.

I think we will celebrate today's successful dentist visit tonight with some extra cotton candy, perhaps some Starburst, or Werther's Candies. Carmel popcorn with candied nuts before bed anyone?

So, I dropped the kids off at Summer Camp, and headed over to Zak's work so I could get my blood drawn. (You should try to have a conversation with a dentist about two humans without any caffeine or sugar). AND I still have several appointments and work stuff to take care of this morning too.


I parked my car, and was walking through the lot towards the entrance. BAM! The next thing I know, I was on the ground with a twisted ankle , a throbbing wrist, and a wet butt (it finally rained last night, and I landed in a puddle). I tripped in a pot hole. I'm sure there is a very funny security tape somewhere. I sat for a few minutes to survey the damage, begged the universe for some food and coffee, and hoped that my husband would have seen this to rescue me. I collected myself and walked inside for the blood test.

I have the veins that every nurse (and heroin addict) dreams of....firm, easily visible, and I never require more than one stick. When I sat down with the "nurse" (and that's a very generous title), she was frazzled, in a hurry, and complained she was hot. I suggested she stick my right arm and pointed at my lucky vein.


The "nurse" selected my left arm, took a stab, and missed. She then took my suggestion and moved to the right arm, stuck me, but nothing came out. She dug the needle around a bit...nothing. She said, "I can't draw from you. Go see someone else."

While waiting, I texted Zak who was in the next room: "Bitch stuck me twice and didn't get any blood. Waiting for another nurse." (Klassy!)

I waited a few minutes for another "nurse," who said "oh no, you're bulging" after looking at the handiwork of the first nurse. A large bump formed on my arm filled with pooling blood underneath the skin. The second woman tries, I look away, she digs around a bit, says "it's collapsed" and digs some more. I have no idea what bulging or collapsed veins are, but I can tell you that it didn't feel very good. She finally found a sweet spot, and got her two measly vials of blood.

Amatures!

I finally got some food and instantly felt better. So, how was your morning?

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