Dear Maddie,
Happy Birthday! Today you are four years old. You've been waiting for this birthday for a very long time. Now that your concept of time is relatively established, it cannot pass fast enough for Friday, a Holiday, your birthday or most importantly, Christmas!
Just like your mama, we follow the
Birthday Rules, which means we've been celebrating for two weeks now. Our celebrations started with your
Fourth Birthday Party. You had a grand ole time with all your friends, family, and teachers. Yes, teachers. Three of your pre-school teachers came to your party this year.
Everyone in your pre-school class loves you, and this even includes your teachers. I can see how this may be a problem as you get older because you take advantage of this fact to get your way. Hey, I can't say I blame you, ya gotta use what your mama gave ya! You have a charming personality and everyone wants to be your friend. I worry that sometimes YOU don't want to be everyone's friend, and may turn into one of "those girls" at school who rules the social circles. In order to stop this from happening, you get daily lectures on what it means to be a good friend. Congratulations, you're lucky because I'm good at lecturing!
You are the smallest little thing at just 33 pounds, and your waist is barely able to keep your size 3T pants up. Unfortunately, they're three inches to short because your legs are so long. Skirts and dresses are still a favorite in your wardrobe, and you still refuse to wear anything with a button (including coats with buttons).
Shoes are also a problem. For the past six months, you've lived in your black Crocs. You wore them nearly everyday despite having many other options until someone at school told you they were "boy shoes." That was the end of your Crocs obsession. If it's not pink or girly, it must be for boys. A few days later, I went on a shoe shopping spree without you. (Had I taken you with me, we would have 10 pairs of princess shoes). The problem occurred when we got home and you did not like what I bought or the shoes were too big. The next week, I took you with me to the store. You insisted on pink ballet slippers and pink glittery Cinderella shoes (picture Dorthy's ruby red slippers, but in pink). Once you wore the pink shoes out of the store and once we got home you decided you didn't like them anymore and have refused to wear them again. Then, my head exploded.
You are the queen negotiator and will try to
weasel talk your way out of any situation that you don't like. For example, when it's bedtime, you'll say, "Mom, okay, but here's the deal...we either go out for ice cream or make some brownies right now." And, I'll say, "No, it's time for bed." You say, "Okay, then I'll get my shoes on so we can go out for ice cream." " No, BED." "Alright, fine, let's just bake some brownies at home." It's like we're not even in the same conversation. While it is completely annoying that everything is a negotiation, I really appreciate this quality in you and know it'll be a great trait one day. When you're 30 years old negotiating for a salary increase. That's my girl!
So when you're negotiating and you don't get your way, a meltdown will occasionally occur. Sometimes it's strait out defiance. The key to a Happy Maddie is positive reinforcement for desirable behavior (e.g. Great job picking up your toys! Thanks for being a great helper.) If you are ever given negative reinforcement (e.g. Pick up your toys right now or you will not get to play at your friends house) all hell breaks loose as you argue, yell, whine and negotiate your way out of a potential punishment.
Soon after I discovered this method, we immediately put up a 'points chart' to reflect all the GREAT things you did during the day. You earn points for cleaning up the living room, following directions, taking a whine free bath, being nice to us and Brooke, having a good learning day at school, and using your 'big girl' voice. It's all about catching you doing something RIGHT instead of getting on you when you do something undesirable. When you're caught doing something RIGHT you earn a point. Everyday as points accumulate, you get to cash them in for a 'prize' from the 'prize bag' (this is just dollar store junk, but you love it). At the end of the week all the points add up to a special treat (like going to see a movie, having a friend come over, getting some new ballet shoes).
This new method of parenting you caused a drastic change in our quality of life together (and my sanity). Sure, we sill have problem times that we are working on, but we're all much happier. Even Brooke is into the spirit and earns her own points for good little sister behavior.
I just need to figure out a way to award you points for sleeping in to 9 a.m on the weekends. You are in our room every morning at about 6:00 chipper and ready to begin the day. You usually take short nap (30-60 minutes) and go to bed about 8:30 every night.
I used to brag that you would be in bed by 7:30 every night, and I would love see you get back on that schedule. Mainly so I could have some alone time with your dad so we could talk. You don't let us talk because you are CONSTANTLY talking. You're like a never ending motor mouth. Sometimes I ask you to stop talking just so I can think for ten seconds. Not only do you talk a lot, but you talk VERY LOUD so the entire restaurant hears you when we go out to eat. I'm sure they're really happy about hearing your poop stories. I've been told that this is entirely age appropriate but OH MY GOD PLEASE let this phase end soon.
The one thing you don't talk very much about is what you did in school on any given day. I only know from what your teachers tell me, the work that you bring home, and the snippets I can get out of you. I do know that you have mastered all your phonics for every letter and have begun to blend letters using phonics. You are essentially on the verge of reading. Apparently this is a little advanced for your age because your teachers seem to think this is a big deal.
You also get compliments from teachers on how well you color. When I first heard a teacher say, "Maddie colors very well" I asked her to repeat herself. I didn't know a measurement of pre-school success was coloring, and I didn't know that this was a unique skill. You're always in the lines. Sticking to just a color or two. Very detailed work. This is not at all in my DNA that I passed on, so your dad's obsessive compulsive gene must have made it through. I still don't see much of a purpose doing anything neat, orderly, or within the lines.
The relationship you have with Brooke is blossoming into a true sister relationship. In other words, you love each other and can't stand each other in the same sentence. One minute you two are yelling, and the other you are laughing hysterically together. It's charming to see this develop. I try to stay back as much as possible to let you work it out, and only insist that sisters are NOT ALLOWED hurt each other (feelings or physically) on purpose. Ever. Even in retaliation.
Whenever I take Brooke on some errand without you, she asks, "Dee Dee?" and points to your chair every thirty seconds. Even when you're at school, teachers report that you run to each other on the playground to exchange hugs and kisses. One time, when you were not permitted to go hug her on the "baby playground," both of you had screaming crying fits. The teachers haven't denied you of this privilege since then.
You do a great job of making her laugh when she's cranky, singing to her when she is crying, and translating for her when we can't understand what she wants. Like I always say, "sisters are forever and ever" so you better take care of each other forever.
Maddie, here are some pictures of your third year:
Loving on your baby sister in the bath in January 2008
Still sucking your thumb in February 2008 (now that you're four, you've promised that you will stop.)
At the beach in May 2008
At the Lake House in June 2008
Laughing in the corner as you torment your sister in July 2008
Laughing with your dad in August 2008
Riding on your pet deer (as your pet Bear looks on) in September 2008
Monkeying around with Brooke in October 2008
A pirate in November 2008
Leaping for joy in December 2008
Lovin' on your mama at your birthday party in December 2008.
Happy Birthday! Booya, Peace Out, I love you, Gotcha.
Loves,
Mama
Maddie ran downstairs while I tried to find the camera and while Zak woke Brooke. Maddie was excited to find some unwrapped gifts:
Our Christmas card this year was designed by Sara Luke from Life Less Ordinary Designs. She's awesome so go buy a photo card, announcement or invitation from her etsy shop.
Still sucking your thumb in February 2008 (now that you're four, you've promised that you will stop.)
At the beach in May 2008
At the Lake House in June 2008
Laughing in the corner as you torment your sister in July 2008 
Monkeying around with Brooke in October 2008
A pirate in November 2008
Leaping for joy in December 2008
Lovin' on your mama at your birthday party in December 2008.
Madison's actual birthday isn't until December 17, but we always celebrate her birthday a week or two early. Mainly because I still feel terrible that she has a holiday birthday. I make a special effort to distinguish between the two events. In addition, people are always so busy during the holidays, and going to a child's b-day party are the last thing anyone wants to do.
I was worried that Maddie would be intimidated by all the attention, but she did a great job of greeting and playing with all her guests.
Ever since her 1st b-day I've insisted on making her cake. This year, however, I did not:
I suppose I didn't need to confess that I didn't make it. I assume you would have figured that one out. She saw this at our local grocery store, and LOVED it. I ordered it with vanilla cake and white frosting, so I decided to make some chocolate cupcakes with strawberry frosting for the chocolate lovers in attendance. I'm so glad I did because had I not, we would have not had enough cake!
