Monday, June 30, 2008

Tweet! Tweet! June 2008

I'm not sure if Twitter is going to keep all my tweets forever and ever. Because they are often little snippets about my daily life with The Girls, I will preserve them on this blog monthly.

Tweet! Tweet! June 2008:

Projectile vomit from Brooke. All over the kitchen floor, me, her, and the high chair. Just missed Maddie who just kept eating dinner. from txt

Had to pick Brooke up from daycare. She puked. She seems tired, so I put her down for another nap. Hopefully she just ate something yucky. from txt

Three year olds have a funny way of making sense of beauty pageants. "That's her FABULOUS walk! What are those pretty girls doing up there?" from txt

Having a garage sale. People actually want to buy my crap. They don't want the good stuff...just the crap! from web

My car wouldn't start today. Dead battery. It was parked overnight at the airport. Good place for your car to die. FREE JUMP Waited10 min! from web

Sitting at the bar at a well known Austin cafe. Why do I do this to myself? I get so willied out when I watch what goes on in the kitchen! from txt

Madison insists that her name is spelled M-O-D-I-S-O-N. from txt

A pest control dude is at my house freaking me out about nocturnal creatures and bugs. Easiest sales job in the world! I'm changing careers! from txt

Walked around for several hours with my shorts inside out. Didn't even notice and no one told me! from txt

Pricing baby clothes for Saturday's garage sale. Crying. Where have my babies gone? So sad. from txt

Maddie beat Zak at her first game of "Candyland.". He took it well. Sort of. from txt

Maddie saw her very first rainbow today after a brief and powerful rain storm that scared her. She was amazed with the rainbow. from txt

It hadn't rained in four months. I got a carwash, and it sprinkled enough this morning to dirty my car but not enough to make my lawn happy. from txt

It's ALIVE! My Sirius S50 has come back to life!! from txt

My sirius S50 radio died. The rep on the phone told me I needed to buy a new one cause the warranty just expired. OF COURSE it did! $ 200! from txt

Working at a job fair for my company: 1. people don't know how to dress professionally 2. LOTS of well educated people are unemployed. from txt

Maddie before we left for school this morning: "I need a beer for the road!" OMG! Where did she learn that phrase? "My Uncle Marcus!" from web

Maddie just figured out that she can actually open the fridge, and Brooke can climb up on the couches/chairs. Their freedom = my trouble. from web

Brooke woke up with glassy eyes. That's her first sign of an ear infection. If so, I will pull off my toenails. from txt

Went to pull weeds for FIVE minutes, and returned with two skeeter bites. I guess I learned my more yard work for me! from web

Just watched a guy pull out a newsapaper that was wedged halfway outta the box. Could have just taken it, but he put in his money instead. from txt

It's not really a good idea to try to trim your daughter's bangs the night before picture day. from txt

I just juiced a portion of a jalapeno for my daily veggie juice cocktail. SPICEY! from web

Chapstick and "lip stihck" is the newest obsession/companion of Maddie. It's applied multiple times per hour and carried everywhere. from web

Me: "Peace out, Sista." Maddie: "I'm a sistER not a sistA." from txt

Keys found in the bag that I searched five times. Still annoyed that I'm a big frustrated dork. from txt

I can't find my keys. SO FRUSTRATED. from txt

Daycare called to say, "Brooke is bleeding from the ear. Is that normal?" Umm, NO. Called Dr who said it was, went to check on her anyway. from web

Maddie confuses kiwis with jalapeƱos: "What's it called again? That little green guy with black seeds...a jalapeƱo?" No, it's a kiwi! OUCH!... from web

You know you live in a region that is way too hot when you take a cooler to the store to ensure your food doesn't spoil on the way home. from txt

I'm backing up my hard drive. I haven't done this since April 2007. I would be so sad if I were to lose the pics and vidoes of The Girls. from txt

Brooke stuck her finger in the only non-covered light socket we have. She cried out, which I guess means she got shocked. I'm a good mama! from txt

Brooke is almost back to her normal self (10:00). She's home and napping. from txt

Brooke was done at 8:30 then screamed for 30 minutes. We left the hospital at 9:00. She's still confused and fussy. from txt

Brooke is in surgery (8:15). They gave her some sleepy meds, then she'll be given some gas to stay asleep while the tubes go in. from txt

The "tiny and friendly little bugs" are the DEAD bugs. All others are "BIG HUGE SCARY BUGS!!" from txt

Locked in!

Zak attempted some handy man type chores at the lake house recently. In the video below he's trying to replace a broken door knob in the room that The Girls sleep in, but ends up trapped.

I was feeding The Girls lunch and he yelled out for me to help him get out by breaking down the door! Um, do you have another reasonable solution? It was pretty funny and I just couldn't resist getting the video camera to capture a real life example of the antics that go on in our house.

Make sure the volume is turned up so you can hear the conversations, especially Maddie's suggestions to help him out.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Maddie and her Tats

Maddie came home from school the other day and was proud to show off her face painting and tattoo that she "earned for good behavior." Sounds like she's a prisoner!

This pose kinda looks like she flashing a gang sign!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Brooke dances to Go, Diego, GO!

Brooke dances to the intro theme song for Go, Diego, Go!

Enjoy your weekend, have FUN, and dance like a 16 month old (cause nobody is really watching)!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Me and Mad(die)

I took Maddie to Sea World recently. We left Zak and Brooke behind so the "big girls" could spend some time together. Also, our friends Amy and Brian (and her sister and parents and kiddos) were in town for a visit to Sea World. Unfortunately, they didn't stay with us like they did last year, but we did manage to have an adults only outing!

We went to the the "Lost Lagoon" which is the water park side of the resort and one I've never even seen before. We've held a season pass for 2 years now and just never went to the water park. It was awesome!

As soon as we got to Sea World, Maddie and I needed to kill some time to wait for Amy and Brian to arrive, so we went to the "Pirate Show" which is a 16 minute long 3D movie about silly pirates. Look how cute we are in our 3D glasses:

Just before the show began the announcer said, "This movie may frighten young children." Uh-oh. I told her it may be scary and loud, but I'd hold her and to take off the 3D glasses if it was too much.
We lasted about 2 minutes. She started screaming, "I don't like it! I'm scared!" So we left with Maddie in tears. After we left the movie a Sea World employee saw what happened (told me privately that at least 10 kids leave in the middle of the show) and gave Maddie a lollipop.
After that, she just couldn't get out of her funk. She whined and fussed the entire afternoon, and even refused to swim or put on her bathing suit! There were moments of fleeting happiness, but mostly I dealt with a grumpy and WHINY girl all day. She didn't really even interact with Maya and Zoe (Amy's daughter and niece) who are the same age:

I know I tend to make "lessons" out of every little experience, but feel it's important to NOT give in to her every little whim. She was being unreasonable and bratty (in front of everyone) and I wasn't going to back down. I could have easily just gone home (like she requested).
When children are catered to and coddled when they act socially inappropriately, it makes them THINK that their behavior will get them what they want. I tried to ignore her for most of her grumpiness and have fun with the other kids and adults that were there (which really pissed her off).
Zak tells me that Maddie and I will constantly have this power struggle for the rest of our lives because neither of us will give in.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Little Naners

Guess who loves baby bananas?

My baby monkey!

I first saw these baby bananas at Ms. Tippi's house several years ago. I thought they were cute and pretty darn funny. They made sense for a daycare because little kids eat little things, and these wouldn't be wasted.

So, I bought some for the first time only because the full size ones were so darn green, I wouldn't be able to eat them for a week! They are a little more expensive, but taste exactly the same. I think they turn brown a little bit faster too.

I gave one to Brooke and she ate it in two bites, gave me the baby sign for MORE! and ate THREE MORE in one sitting. My girl loves her some nanners.

Friday, June 13, 2008

A study of contrasts

Specimen #1...The Blond One: Clean, reserved, tidy, prefers her spaghetti with NO sauce

Specimen #2...The Brunette One: Messy, hungry, hamming it up, prefers to wear her spaghetti with extra meat sauce.

Sisters....same parents, but very different DNA!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Produce Co-Op

I just joined my neighborhood Produce Co-Op. About 3o families in my subdivision participate in this secret group, and the Veggie Lady, provides us with a tub full of organic produce every other Tuesday for $25 a month. This week I got:

  • Bag of Carrots
  • GIANT bananas (not just giant, but "how the hell will I eat this entire thing" ENORMOUS
  • TWO bunches of spinach (with the stems)
  • big head of romaine lettuce
  • three Flavorosa Pluots (look it up)
  • three tomatoes
  • broccoli
  • radishes (what can I do with all of those?)
  • 2 lbs of Valencia oranges
  • two cucumbers
  • two bunches of celery
  • two red onions
  • cantaloupe

The Veggie Lady is kinda like a drug dealer--all sophisticated with her spreadsheets, pimping out her kids to sort the veggies, etc. The truck that came yesterday was a HUGE moving kinda truck. Not very discrete. We're afraid that some neighbor is gonna call the HOA Cops (home owners association rent-a-cop) on us for "doing business" from her home. I'm pretty sure that's against the HOA rules, along with having grass taller than 2.75 inches and a weed.

Much of this organic produce is available at my local grocery store, but way more expensive. See that bag of carrots? It's $4.99 at the store, and all of this pictured is just $12.50.

See those tomatoes? They have been practically banned by the government (or at least McDonald's) for concerns over salmonella. Those puppies must be worth some cash! I'm gonna auction mine off for $500 each on E-Bay.

Bad boys, bad boys, whacha gonna do, whacha gonna do when they come for you?

"FREEZE LADY, drop that cucumber!"

Monday, June 09, 2008

75 things I may or may NOT be able to do

I dislike chain letters, and dumb email forwards...I really do. If I'm in an extra snotty mood, and your email is FALSE, then I will totally call you out on it by responding with the link.

Memes are kinda like Chain Letters and Emails, except they are about the blogger. I know, I you care! I haven't done one in a while, so here you go.

The Rules: You highlight the things you can do and you leave in normal type the things you can’t. Comments are encouraged, especially sarcastic ones. After your read mine, go and do one on your blog!

1. Give advice that matters in one sentence. (I am full of assvice. Ask any pregnant or nursing friend I've ever had. "Make a boob sandwich for a good latch" is my favorite).
2. Tell if someone is lying. (especially if I can SMELL the fib on you)
3. Take a photo. (I love it when some has to explain how to use their camera to me, as if I've never touched a crazy techy soul stealing device before)
4. Score a baseball game. (I can drink beer and eat hot dogs at a game, that's about it).
5. Name a book that matters.
6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible. (This is Zak's job)
7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill. (like an oven or stove top, dorkwad?)
8. Not monopolize the conversation. (Impossible)
9. Write a letter.
10. Buy a suit. (and high heels to match)
11. Swim three different strokes. (just one)
12. Show respect without being a suck-up. (my former coworkers would spit out their coffee laughing if I bolded that one).
13. Throw a punch. (it would hurt me too much, and we use our WORDS not our hands to express feelings.)
14. Chop down a tree. (not even to put in a pool).
15. Calculate square footage. (barely, with a caculator).
16. Tie a bow tie.
17. Make one drink, in large batches, very well. (margarita, martini, mai tai, etc)
18. Speak a foreign language. (only Toddler-ese, Baby Signs, and muy pocoito espanol)
19. Approach a man out of her league. (One does not exist. Thankyouverymuch.)
20. Sew a button. (but that is it. I use scotch tape to hem pants).
21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer.
22. Give a woman an orgasm so that he doesn’t have to ask after it. (huh? I'm no grammar queen, but that makes no sense.)
23. Be loyal. (I'm a LEO!)
24. Know his poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope. (Maker's Mark and 7UP is his poison, but I stand there like a dope trying to figure out what I want to drink)
25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it. (I didn't know that nails had names like "eightpenny").
26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat. (Fishing is kinda gross, but I don't mind pretending I can do it).
27. Play gin with an old guy.
28. Play go fish with a kid.
29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped. (That's just weird.)
30. Feign interest. (All. The.Time)
31. Make a bed. (I don't, but I can).
32. Describe a glass of wine in one sentence without using the terms nutty, fruity, oaky, finish, or kick. (yummy)
33. Hit a jump shot in pool.
34. Dress a wound. (Maddie wants a band-aid every single day.)
35. Jump-start a car (if I really needed to). Change a flat tire. Change the oil. (My dad actually tried to teach me to do all of those things, and I was all, "that's kinda dirty, can't we just call someone?")
36. Make three different bets at a craps table.
37. Shuffle a deck of cards. (does putting them into a big pile and swirling them all around count?)
38. Tell a joke. (only if I can remember it, which means only about 4 minutes later).
39. Know when to split his cards in blackjack.
40. Speak to an three-year-old so she will hear. (tell her you have a very special secret to whisper in her ear).
41. Speak to a waiter so he will hear.
42. Talk to a dog so it will hear. (yelling never worked for me, so I quit)
43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help. (I could, but I try to stroke Zak's ego by letting him do the manly jobs).
44. Ask for help.
45. Break another man’s grip on his wrist. (huh? )
46. Tell a woman’s dress size.
47. Recite one poem from memory.
48. Remove a stain. (I tried to do this just yesterday, and failed 4 times.)
49. Say no.
50. Fry an egg sunny-side up. (runny yolk, hard's the only reason he married me.)
51. Build a campfire.
52. Step into a job no one wants to do. (five years ago, this would have been bolded, but not today, my friend.)
53. Sometimes, kick some ass. (yep, I'm your girl).
54. Break up a fight. (Call the cops!)
55. Point to the north at any time. I am a human compass with a death defying sense of direction. Most of the time.
56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person. (Music = Zak's territory).
57. Explain what a light-year is. (Is this a Star Wars reference?)
58. Avoid boredom. (go to a SPA!)
59. Write a thank-you note. (on my own personally embossed stationary).
60. Be brand loyal to at least one product. (only Q-Tips...generic doesn't even come close)
61. Cook bacon. (and bring some home)
62. Hold a baby. (ummm, how about BIRTH a baby?!)
63. Deliver a eulogy. (never, and I'm not looking forward to delivering one. Ever.)
64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch.
65. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap.
66. Throw a football with a tight spiral.
67. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably. (not a chance, I'm 5'2'' yo.)
68. Find his way out of the woods if lost. (why would I be in the woods in the first place?)
69. Tie a knot. ( last weekend Zak taught me all about square knots---like I didn't know!)
70. Shake hands. (just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I want a limp handshake, but you better not squeeze so hard my rings dig into my flesh, 'cause I'll call you out on it).
71. Iron a shirt. (see #35, sorry dad.)
72. Stock an emergency bag for the car. (For the kids or for the car? Yes and Yes)
73. Caress a woman’s neck. <<-- well I suppose I could...hey! Was this survey intended for a man? That explains some things. 74. Know some birds. (like my middle finger? that's not nice) 75. Negotiate a better price. (ALWAYS)

And thus ends this meme that I just figured out may have been written for a man by a man. Oh well, a woman just ran for President, so I guess I could do a man's meme!

So, what have you learned about me?

Sunday, June 08, 2008

When the accident is your fault... feel like crap.

I'm sorry, baby. I didn't want you to get hurt. Mommy wasn't paying attention and wasn't thinking, and the next thing I know....THUD. You hit the floor. Then there was blood coming from your mouth. You were crying so hard you puked. I thought you might have lost a tooth. Your upper lip began to swell immediately, and we both cried together while your dad held us both. I love you. I'm so sorry.


We went swimming today, and by we, I mean me, Zak and Brooke. Maddie is suddenly scared of the pool, and won't go in anymore. Last year she was fish, this year, she's a beached whale on the side of the pool refusing to swim.

After we got out, I wrapped Brooke in a towel to keep warm while I tended to Maddie. Brooke must have walked a few steps, and tripped over the towel. Because she was all wrapped up, she couldn't put her arms down to break her fall, so she fell face first on the concrete. There was a loud thud that I continue to hear over and over again in my head.

God, this really, REALLY sucks sometimes.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Cute shoes!

My girls LOVE them some cute shoes. I purchased Brooke and Maddie some new kicks yesterday at Target. As soon as Maddie saw hers, she wouldn't take them off. She wanted to SLEEP in them. Since I would not allow that, she decided she wanted to sleep WITH them (teddy bear style). We compromised and I let her put them on the floor right next to her bed.

First thing in the morning, I hear her stomping like an elephant down the hall excited to show all her friends her new "peep toe" shoes. As we were just getting ready to get into the car to go to school, she asks to put on her old broken in sandals! I was shocked.
Brooke was happy in these little shoes. Not complaining about anything means she's fine with everything. Trust me, she'll let you know when she doesn't like something.

My Girls are growing up way too fast.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

I is fine

Hi everyone,
I'm fine. My surgery was quick and painless. I'm the proud owner of two new tiny little tubes, one in each ear.

My mom and I got to the hospital at 7:00 am and waited patiently on a very empty stomach until 8:15. Look how cute I am in my hospital gown waiting for my late arriving doctor....

I got to have some yummy cherry flavored medicine that made me sleepy and silly. Then...well, I don't remember!

When I woke up at 8:30, I was MAD. I yelled and yelled at my mom. I was very confused. I felt dizzy. I didn't know where I was or who these people were. I wanted to get outta there. Once we left the hospital at 9:00, I was much better.

My mom is okay too. She held me while I yelled at her, and said she was so sorry but this surgery will help my ears over the next year.


Monday, June 02, 2008

15 AND 16 months old

Dear Brooke,

Today you are 16 months old, and I know I've said it before, but I REALLY can't believe it! Here you are taking a walk on the beach (I recommend muting this one due to the loud, obnoxious person taking the video. Who knew a voice could go that high? Ugh.)

I actually started writing this post last month to commemorate your 15th month on the planet, but I look back and as the month flew by....I never posted it! So, I am now combining the last two busy months into one post.

At your 15 month well baby visit, you weighed a puny 20 lbs/9 oz (15%) and are a whopping 31.5 inches tall (85%). This is odd because at your last check up you were only 29 inches a few months ago. We measured twice! Is it possible that you grew 2.5 inches in less than three months? That's gotta hurt.

After your normal pediatrician appointment, we went to see a specialist ENT to check on your ears. You've been diagnosed with five ear infections since October, and we became worried about your little ears inability to drain fluid (and too many antibiotics). We think this is definitely effecting your balance, and could effect your hearing and speech in the long run.

The ENT cleared out your very waxy ears, took a peek, saw that both ears were filled with fluid (again!), and immediately suggested TUBES. I have mixed feelings about this as it is major surgery. It's a very common procedure, but it requires you being put under which is never 100% safe. They will cut a small hole in your ear drum, drain the fluid, and put in these teeny tiny little tubes that are about 1 mm X 2 mm. The tubes will stay in until they fall out on their own (usually 6 months). You'd then be reevaluated to see if your own Eustachian tubes are developed enough to do the job on their own. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow at 7:00 a.m. I am worried, as any mama would be, and don't think I will be sleeping much tonight.

When you complain about your little ears or your teeth coming in....
you are not much fun. Normally, you are SO. MUCH. FUN. You laugh and play and tease and joke with us all the time. You love to give kisses, all kinds of kisses...closed mouth and the big slobbery open mouth kind. If I'm not paying attention, I'll get a kiss after you take a running start. Ouch!
Playing with your sister is a favorite past time. Madison has you falling for every little sister trick in the book. Like, playing "catch" with you where she just screams "CATCH IT!" and pegs you with the ball in your head. You just laugh and laugh and try to pick up the ball. The little arguments you two have are not just one sided, you hold your own and can often be found ripping food from Maddie's hands and stealing her milk. Madison won't fight back, but she'll just cry (which seems to concern you, so it's a good tactic). We are working everyday on negotiating skills and how to get things we want without swiping and screaming. It's working. Slowly.

Music is the blood that runs in your veins and you are always rocking out. You still dance to anything...commercials, toys, music, my hand clapping...anything. The dance moves are getting more and more creative. The sway remains, but has been supplemented with a shimmy and stomp. Most of the time you dance so hard that you fall over.

Words are coming pretty slowly. You can almost always repeat sounds when we try to get you to say something, but the only TRUE words you are saying are:

Dee-Dee (Maddie)
Thank you

Even though you can't say many words, you understand me completely, especially when we both use baby signs. You are now doing chores on command. Just yesterday you picked up all the toys and put them away all by yourself. After you threw some food on the floor, you picked it up on command. After each task, you clap for yourself and say, "Yea!" and look over to us for approval of how smart you are.
I hope you know that you never need my approval (except when it comes to a boyfriend), and that you will soon develop confidence to know that you are always loved, encouraged, and supported. I'm happy just to be able to teach and guide you for the next 15-20 years to help you find the life you are meant to live.
P.S. Read my Tweets for surgery updates....